Or, to be precise, frustrated at the lack of financial communication with family and friends. I'm sure everyone here can guess what this will be about.
For the record, I haven't had many (... if any) role models of good financial standing among my friends and family. So, I'm not surprised that I've managed to keep the flame of uncontrolled spending burning brightly since I've reached adulthood. It would have been very hypocritical of me to point fingers.
But I really thought that I would've received a little more support from everyone when my wife and I decided to change gears. Well, okay ... maybe not a ton of support at first (we weren't entirely sure ourselves that anything would change). But it has been almost exactly a year now of paying down debt while adding absolutely nothing to it. And guess what? Still no support.
Perhaps the ridiculous taboo of not discussing personal finance with others is to blame. Maybe it is just pure embarrassment. But to get nothing but blank stares when bringing up the progress we've made is disappointing. Mostly because I know my family and friends are in similar circumstances and could really change things around if they'd only try.
Oh well ... /shrug
Frustrated at conversations about money
May 2nd, 2011 at 06:01 pm
May 2nd, 2011 at 06:19 pm 1304360385
May 2nd, 2011 at 06:35 pm 1304361338
It's OK, you and your wife are the smart ones! The day is coming when you will begin to enjoy the fruits of your labors.
May 2nd, 2011 at 07:11 pm 1304363496
I can relate to your feelings even with having an extremely supportive and "on the same page" type of family. I can't say the same for most of our friends.
But having the support and having that reminder that you aren't crazy, is pretty invaluable. On a day to day basis, I find it here.
I was raised in a 90% Ramsey kind of way, and most people think we are weird. People feel uncomfortable with weird. I really think that is a LOT of it. I find that people on first impression think that I am lying and thus untrustworthy. It's impossible to live that kind of lifestyle, and be happy, and out of debt, on that income. So there is something *off* here. Plus, much of how we live our life is opposite of everything they have been told their whole lives.
That said, give it time. Fast forward 10 years with some of our relationships since moving to the city we live in now. Time has proven that we can really do it, we are really happy, we are really out of debt, and that we must be doing something right. In the past year, several people told me that I had really helped them financially. (Which was important to hear, because the feedback I usually get is pretty negative from others. & I am pretty private with my finances and not in-your-face in the least, but I am open and honest that I can't keep up with all the Jonesing going along - and that upsets and intimidates people, for whatever reason). You are *alone* now, but with time, some people will come around.
May 2nd, 2011 at 09:41 pm 1304372484
I know I should try and be more patient with my family, since it didn't exactly happen overnight for me. However, I really thought that a year's worth of progress ($16,000 paid off) would open their eyes. Thank you for your support!
Petunia 100,
I haven't had to worry about it yet, but I can easily see a few family members or friends coming to us for money once we're breathing easier. Ironically, I'm much more of a pushover with my kids compared to my wife; however, when family asks for "financial aid", my wife is the softie.
MonkeyMama,
I think the "Ramsey kind of way" is what is turning off others to doing something about their money issues. Appearances count so much for a lot of people that the idea of living like you make very little doesn't seem worth the trouble.
Something tells me you are right about giving it time. Perhaps once we've hung in there long enough for my family and friends to realize our new financial position is here to stay, they'll finally show some interest.
May 2nd, 2011 at 10:41 pm 1304376113
May 3rd, 2011 at 06:30 am 1304404251
May 3rd, 2011 at 01:01 pm 1304427692
It took me a few months to transfer some of my enthusiasm to my wife, but ever since then she has totally been my partner in fighting debt. I'm not sure I'd even be here blogging right now if she hadn't jumped in with me last year.
whitestripe,
Wow, you know money is a silly thing when others will put you down for having a little in the bank.
We waited until I was nearly 30 to have kids, so I've certainly heard plenty of questioning about why it took so long. Eventually, I came to the realization that being called "selfish" or whatever is just projection.